She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
