It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
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