And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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