Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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