Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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