You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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