guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize