Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
