i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Randomize
