don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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