im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
