dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
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IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
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The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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