My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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