i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize