Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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