I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
