I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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