I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
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