I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
