hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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