Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
