READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
the room spins SO much faster in panama
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Randomize
