i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Randomize
