i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
