Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
