Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
