Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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