I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
