Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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