Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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