why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
