John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
