Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
