idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
