Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
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