I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
