The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
