the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
