i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
