As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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