i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
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on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
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In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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