does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Randomize
