the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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