I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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