I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I can text with my tongue
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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