That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.