Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.