hell yes lets make some ravioli
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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