I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
