I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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