Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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