so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
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The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
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you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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