Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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