where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Sober January is a disaster.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
this must be what syphilis tastes like
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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