so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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