but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
