Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
