well I can't set my house on fire every night
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
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