I'm going to jail i love you
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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