Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
