He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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