I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
