I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
