Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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