i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
