I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
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