38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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